Uncle Doogs reporting in gang. I know its been a while. This blog is like a love affair for me. I love posting content, I love being a part of a blog, I love being able to say, “hey check out this blog I am posting content to.” But yet. I don’t post content nearly as much as my counter parts. However, I must say it is partly due to my job. Partly due to me being selfish and wanting to do Uncle Doogs things. Anyways, what I really wanna get at is why I love drinking so much!
Booz. It is fucking magical. It is the nectar of the Gods. Man’s way of coping with everything that could possibly go wrong in their lives or right! I find myself saying, “God I could use a drink” more times than you can shake a stick at!
Sidebar. Now in all seriousness I am not an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a terrible diseases that many Americans (yes only Americans, I don’t give two shits about the rest of the world) deal with. It ruins lives and kills many every year. I do not want to poke fun at alcohol dependency here. This is simply a parody of why I love alcohol.
So back to the main bar. I started off like any booz bag, fuckin crushin rollin rock in Colorado partying eluding the police. I then became a beer snob turning 21. Then I realized this wonderful thing called spirits. Holy. Shit! Now this is where the party happens! Tequila. Vodka. Rum. Burbon. Whiskey. Scotch. You name it. I’ve had it. Hate’em all except for vodka and tequila. Now that is my jam right there. Gimme a margarita, or as I like to call them a Doogarita on the double!!
Gimme a Bloody Mary, or as they are more properly know, a Bloody Doogs! If you see Uncle Doogs near the water, you’re gonna see him with a Doogarita or a Bloody Doogs in hand. As James has already written about, these drinks are staples of my diet.
Drinking is something I have now come to embrace after many a night wrapped around the porcelain throne. I didn’t know my limits, maybe I wanted to be the center of
attention, who knows. I made a fool of myself many a time. And you know what? I still make a fool of myself because I love being a fool. And alcohol to me just brings out a whole new element of my persona that makes people keel over laughing. That’s what matters to me babes. Making people laugh! And booz just amplifies that!
When I feel like being a classy broad I’ll dive into the vino. Red, whites, blends. I’ve had’em all, and I’ll tell you what. Wine and oysters… What. A. Combo! That’ll put some lead in your pencil! Boys if you’re having a hard time with your libido, get two dozen fresh Point Judith oysters and a white blend. Oh baby!!! That piece ain’t going down for hours, you might even need to call a physician!
Anywho, drinking is my go to past time. It brings people together. It makes people happier. Its the magic koolaid I’ll keep on drinking. But on a serious note, I had a friend get arrested for D.U.I. That is simply unacceptable. Never ever drink and drive and know when to say, “I need help.” As fun as it can be it can be very destructive. Luckily I’m not there just yet.